Friday, January 20, 2017

SECRETS IN THE BEDROOM





Marriage …Love…..Unity what does all that mean without trust, these days it seems like couples have more secrets between them than a Swedish Banker with the IRS. Everybody seems to want to have one up over the other.

You hear of different situations in a home and you wonder if these couples are actually married or in if in reality they are two soldiers at war living in the same household. They act like two poker players always seeking to read the others hand. What happened to good ol fashioned Love means share everything principle?


The way I grew up Marriage seemed like a different institution from what we have now, Couples were so synchronal they literally looked alike. My assumption was that Married couples appeared to act like twins, they dressed alike to church and occasions, shopped together and did almost everything together.
That’s not to say they still did not fight and have issues in their homes but my impression was when you got married you gave up your whole life to be with this person and vice versa, fast forward to present day I am not even sure some people remember they are married. It seems like it’s just business as usual, everyone just carries on doing their own thing after the wedding, maybe that’s why divorces are so frequent these days but what do I know?

Let’s drill it down a bit with this topic, should Married Couples keep secrets from each other, I see you looking around and muttering beneath your breath “it depends”.
On what? The gravity of the secret or on its repercussions?
My understanding is that your spouse is your best friend and partner for life so why not let everything out on the table…

” maybe it’s not safe to poke the hornets’ nest” you respond, “maybe sharing this huge secret could potentially end your marriage “

Fair enough, if I am being totally honest I am not sure my husband knows everything about me but then again I am not sure I have any major secret I am keeping from him, for instance should spouses  maintain  secret Bank accounts ?

“Why not!” you exclaim “After all at the end of the day it’s the emergency savings that comes in handy when it’s absolutely necessary”

Calm down don’t bite me, but the truth is communication brings couples closer, if there is no trust in a relationship then how will you guys survive. You hear of stories of people buying property without informing their spouse or planning a major mile stone, your spouse is your partner if you still act like you are a lone ranger then there is already trouble in paradise.
Marital relationships are like a Dam, cracks no matter how little always end up destroying the entire edifice if not checked. You should let them into all aspects of your life.

Secrets are like serpents that follow your shadow, you might think it’s safe cos no one can see them yet but when you least expect it they will bite you and release their venom. Don’t let the poison ruin you let them in.