Hey guys i am beyond sorry i haven't blogged for months ,my life has swung a serious 360 since the last time i blogged first off all Dakky eloped with Mr Right...ok technically i didn't elope since both families were carried along but i got married so fast people are still scratching their head on that one and i changed jobs, as well as house as well...safe to say things changed , i had to re adjust to my new life before finding inspiration to come on here again but have no fear Dakky is back..
voila my new topic , i always tell people Life is a book with different chapters, if you skip one or two chapters you might not understand the chapter you are on right now, whilst impatient people want to fly to read the end of the book thereby walking clueless all through life. Who remembers the Beijing women's conference in 1995, personally i think African women finally caught the spirit that had been roaming around Europe and the western world for several decades openly after that year. don't get me wrong pre-1995 African Women had always made their mark in history, from my favorite all time female heroine Queen Amina of Zau zau or Zaria in 1596, to the popular western heroine Madam Efuronye Tinubu ,lets not forget Olori Moremi of Ile-Ife and of course the Egyptian Queens Cleopatra and Nefertiti of Egypt, women had always left their mark in history...(at this point i can see the male readers rolling their eyes wondering if this is another pro-feminist soaked article camouflaged with general banter, have some faith ok) but after that conference it appeared as if publicly women were not afraid to want more for themselves, gone where the satisfied woman content to rise to the level of a middle level civil servant and retire with a comfortable pension or become head mistress and principals of schools, suddenly Nigerian women didn't see any reason why they should not be appointed Permanent secretaries, Ministers, deputy Governors etc, gone where the days where ambitious women were looked at with disdain by their male counterparts , women in position of power wanted to be treated with respect and not as the bosses girlfriend but at what cost??
To be honest do not be deceived by the Beyonce syndrome it is very difficult for a woman to have it all , to be at the pinnacle in your career and have a successful home is extremely difficult but not impossible. I have a very good friend (name with-held) who married this beautiful wiz-kid, she came out with a first class and four years after graduation international consulting firms were running after her like hot cake, one day i called my friend to catch up and our conversation has remained in my head till this day, he told me all the wonderful accomplishments his wife had achieved with a distinct knot in his voice, after several minutes of prodding whilst wailing inside as my credit ran low he finally opened up to me, he was finding it difficult to keep up with his wife, she had just been given a brand new Toyota Avensis car and he needed to change his car as well i remember him crying out my wife's car is more expensive than mine, he was a second level officer in a Financial institution and was finding it very difficult trying to catch up with her, he kept on complaining on how his wife kept on writing one exam to the other and that they were yet to have kids e,t,c safe to say i gave him a serious tongue lashing and yes my credit finished as well. hours after that phone call i couldn't stop thinking about it, were men afraid of successful women?, i would think a man would be elated that his wife was doing so well in her career that early but i guess not, she now runs her own company and they have beautiful boys and i yes i have stopped prodding.
So many women go through the same challenges, last week i was upset when someone said Ms Arunma Oteh was recalled because she was Goodluck Jonathan's girlfriend , why does every successful female politician or statesman have to be someone's girlfriend is that how it rolls or people cant wrap their head round a beautiful woman in a position of authority earning her place strictly by merit. let's be frank the higher you climb the corporate ladder the more strain it will put on your family if not for anything the extra hours you will have to put in at work, there is no short cut to it, its tough out there, i remember how i used to boast to my friends that i would always prepare my husband's meals and serve it to him maid or no maid ha! was i delusional, i get home if i am lucky 8.00 p.m and the last thing i want to do after doing a little housework is enter the kitchen and start preparing a meal ,thank God for the kind of man i married but for some women they don't have a choice they have to do it, being the curious amebo that i am , i am always constantly prodding my married male friends on how they cope when their wife is away on official duty or comes home late , most say they are understanding but when will the fake smiles falter to reveal the real truth. Most women at the top need to be twice as tough as their male counter parts at the job to be taken seriously and 10x as nice at home so their husbands don't snap , makes you wonder why a large number of women at the top are either single ,divorced or newly separated .
Yesterday is not like today, for yesterday the economy was not this rough and the cost of living was not this high, most families need the two spouses income to survive , whilst we all cannot get that lucrative Oil job or Federal Government high paying job with the official car and driver what happens to the ambitious women who want rise to be Managing Directors, Financial Directors and still be hands on mothers and dutiful wives. With the crop of nannies we have today who have become lords and masters of your own house and bosses who don't care if a set of triplets just came out of your womb few months ago expecting you to deliver at your desk with the same efficiency as a 26year old male fresh graduate what does the future hold for the Female on top of the corporate Ladder.
if she is stern with her colleagues they call her a dyke, if she comes home late from meetings at home her husband side eyes her, if the kids get into a fight at school she is labelled a bad mother who cannot supervise her kids and if she struggles to juggle it all she is called a workaholic who must be having personal problems at home , for that woman who manages to have it all smoothly i respect you, i envy you and i need to know your secret . where society looks at you with binoculars , searching for a hidden flaw i commend you as an amazon , a nurturer and ask you quietly...where can i get that lucrative Oil job cos Dakky no fit shout.