Three Men walk into a well-furnished house, two are dressed in sharp dark suits whilst the third is dressed in casual traditional attire. They are attempting to sell off a property which was used as Collateral on a Credit Facility for a Nigerian Bank.
“Alhaji this house is in superb condition, as you can see, at the price we are offering it is literally a giveaway”
Ayo the Retail Monitoring Officer begins the conversation,gesticulating towards the lavish parlor with its exquisite furnishings still in tact.
“Wallahi Ayo if it is giveaway oya dash me now, you are charging me Eighty Million Naira fa and you call it giveaway.”
The man in casual attire responded. Alhaji Idris had been approached by the bankers in an attempt to sell off the property and recoups the Bank's Investment.
Mark the Business Manager decided he would have to make use of all his marketing skills if he wanted to convince the reluctant millionaire to make a serious offer for the property.
” Alhaji of course Eighty Million Naira is a lot of money but considering the location, amenities, and security here, houses in this area go for between one hundred to one hundred and twenty Million Naira, and guess what? Your next door neighbor is the Chief of Staff of Lagos State so you will be sure of constant power”
Alhaji rubbed his tummy and looked round with delight,He decided he would make an offer, he decided to try to negotiate the Price down.
“Kai Mark but Eighty million naira is too much, you give me Sixty million naira and I will pay you immediately business is slow. “
Ayo shook his head adamantly,
“No Alhaji don’t forget we need to recover our money on this property we have already lost …..”
A sudden noise cut him off, they all turned in fear, the noise sounded like a glass plate shattering on the floor.
“Wallahi kare dey here so” Alhaji Shrieked racing for the door,
“It’s ok there is no Dog here I am sure it’s the wind “ Mark re assured the panic stricken Alhaji who was several meters from the door.
Gbam !!! They heard another loud noise and Alhaji lunged at the door, but it wouldn’t open.
Mark and Ayo began to sweat, they were caught between investigating what was causing the noise or joining Alhaji to discover why the door they had walked through less than ten minutes ago was shut and would not open.
Suddenly a young man wearing a disheveled shirt and a pair of black trousers walked into the sitting room, it was clear he was the source of the commotion.he held in his hands a half empty beer bottle and wobbled as he walked, he was obviously drunk.
‘Mr Williams what are you doing here!!” Ayo asked with anger,
‘You are asking me what i am doing here. Is this not my house?” Mr Williams retorted angrily,
“You Bankers think you can walk in and sell my house to this …pig”
he pointed to Alhaji who at this point was still trying to open the door.
“What are you doing by my door, you want to leave? There is no leaving here, you see all my doors and windows have an electronic device that controls them, it is latched shut because I locked it…”
“You want to walk in here and take my house, my sweat from me…well guess what? The only way that is happening is over my dead body”
Ayo in his typical manner charged at him, he was irritated at being locked in with a recalcitrant customer who just wanted to cause a scene.
“ You drunk imbecile, this is not your house, this is the Bank’s property, we gave you One hundred and twenty million naira to build this house but you stopped settling your debt after paying only settling Ten million naira , we called you severally for meetings , appealed to you, you ignored us, you are a criminal.. “
Mr Williams dropped the bottle he was opening , a light seemed to go on in his head and his eyes suddenly looked larger. He calmly brought out a sharp Knife from behind his back and without any show of emotion cleaned the Knife on his shirt and faced them.
“You were saying young man, I am a criminal”,
There was something sinister about his tone, it was not hard to tell that they were conversing with a man whose senses were not in tact.
Ayo backed off in fear, almost falling. It was clear from the look in Mr Williams eyes that he meant to do them great harm, Mark sensing the danger Ayo's toungue lashing had caused quickly stepped in,
“Mr Williams please forgive my colleague, you know these Back office Staff can be callous with their words, what we meant to say is you were not available for negotiations and the money involved is a lot of money.”
“Marketer shut up, don’t think you can calm me down with your skills, you gave me loan and I did not pay you eh eh”, “and so what?? Am I the first person to owe a Bank in Nigeria, all my friends owe banks what is the big deal, CBN will always bail you guys out. Don’t hate the hustler hate the Game my friend.”
“Sir “Ayo begun but Mr Williams cut him off,
“so I am Sir now?, I am no longer an Imbecile eh”
“Please forgive my words but maybe we ccc..can work out something, some form of settlement.” Ayo continued stammering.
“I am not paying you jack!”
Mr Williams shouted and they all jumped out of their skin, Alhaji started banging the door and screaming in Hausa.
“You gave me One hundred and twenty loan for fifteen years and you are charging me 21% interest rate do you know how much I will be paying at the end of the day? Now who is the criminal?”
“But Sir, you were privy to the terms and conditions, you accepted them you even informed me that two other Banks had turned you down because of the amount involved, yet as a Bank passionate about encouraging our Small business owners we gave you this loan, remember how you pleaded with us even assuring us that if we wanted to add your wife and father as collateral you would bring them and now you are singing a different tune, it’s not fair now.” Mark pleaded.
“Mark or whatever you call yourself you are just spitting stories, this house is mine, this furniture is mine , you will not take it from me, it is either you let my house go or we will all die here today.”
“la'ila Oga, let me go, I have nothing to do with this matter , wallahi I am marrying a new wife tomorrow let me go and enjoy my life.” Alhaji pleaded.
“No!, if I make a scape goat out of you nobody else will come and bid for this house, this house is mine!”
Mr Williams lunged at them but tripped and fell flat on his face, Ayo and Mark quickly rushed him and pinned him to the ground, searching through his pocket they found the remote that had securely locked them inside for the past Twenty mins. As they pulled Mr Williams up and were heading to the door Ayo suddenly turned to Alhaji.
“So Alhaji what do you say, do we agree on Seventy Five Million Naira?”.
Alhaji and Mark turn to each other and give an incredulous look for two minutes before Mark Shrugs.
“It’s all in a day’s work of being a banker we meet them all.”