Peerline? What is a Peerline you may ask? Well stop reaching for a dictionary that word does not exist, I made it up. Why not? This topic is a little less formal than usual so let’s loosen our ties (Or girdles) and dig in.
Dating sigh that exciting insufferable dance we must all dance in the name of physical attraction, courtship, pre rites of course to the final destination MARRIAGE…maybe some keep on dancing but let’s focus on the pre rites.
It’s all well and good when you are dating in a social context, Each person or group has their own set of dating rules they abide by, no sex before marriage, no sex without finance, no sex until after the 7th date…..different strokes for different folks but the catch is that, in that social environment, it’s your rules, your play technically if the other party refuses to play by the other parties rules , one or both can always opt out, that’s the whole point of dating isn’t it, you try to see if you are compatible ,if you are not you can always walk away , there are no ropes binding you to someone just because you went out on a few dates ,simple and uncomplicated (sometimes).
What happens when you find someone attractive that is not in your social circle, what happens if that person is in your working circle? Shrugs Some dance everywhere they go, after all who is counting, you are both single what’s the big deal if you work together, your other rib can be anywhere, whilst some are more cautious, outside your social environment perhaps you don’t want the mess that may fall out from a broken relationship in the workplace, perhaps you want to effectively separate your social and working life, that’s your prerogative and the source of another topic but let’s move forward , what if this person you want to dance with is not just a colleague, what if it’s your boss?
Argh all the dancers pause, this is not an open dance call anymore, this one is a little bit more technical, how do you handle dating someone who is above your peers?. Now for women it’s a little bit less complex, as a matter of fact some women welcome these kind of relationships, in their minds dating the boss can be equated to hitting the jackpot. They imagine all kind of incentives that would come with that position, fast track promotions, perks, appointment in lucrative positions, lavish gifts, bleh….. I just felt every feminist throw up from inside their belly, I just cannot stand women who hop on men to rise in the work place, I’m sorry I am supposed to be nonjudgmental and dispassionate but on this particular issue they just make it a lot difficult for those of us who value respect for our hard work more than admiration for our backside but I digress…..for some women the narrative is a little easier, dating their boss is a positive thing.
So that leaves us with the men, how do men handle dating above their peer line, what do you do if you are attracted to your female boss…insert pause break here.
Some men calculate that all women are the same, that no matter how successful or distinguished a woman is, she would always be malleable to a man she is attracted to (don’t crucify me I didn’t say it), so they calculate that if they approached her just like they did any other woman it could work in their favor..hmnn that’s a gamble, Whilst some other men are patient, they study and watch her consistently sometimes even for months until they discover some of her weaknesses, and then they play them up, for instance if she likes flowers they could send her flowers anonymously for weeks with short poems in the cards (sighs why aren’t men romantic anymore) Or they could just make themselves extremely valuable to her, insert themselves into her life, help her with projects on and off work, be extremely nice, always offer compliments ..hey stop jotting down all this with a pen and paper I am not your dating guide,
my point is it’s a little bit more technical when you want to date your female boss, for one if she rejects you ,it might become uncomfortable in the work place , for another even if you date and it does not work out it might become uncomfortable in the work place, and then if everything is going smoothly and she needs to shred you, it might become uncomfortable in the work place…you get the trend.
Dating above the Peerline, why not? Insert all the issues raised in the last paragraph ,Some of you may actually nod when you see all this issues thrown up but as soon as they hire that mullattoish Beyonce looking ivy league , female boss all this warning is lost in translation.
My Advice is weigh your options, ask yourself what do you have to lose? It’s hard enough dating a regular person, then to add the semantics that involves the working relationship then to date your boss? Maybe you should stand down I mean it literally stand down until you are sure it’s really worth it, because at the end of the day a Yes or No can still mean trouble for you at work. you don’t care ok then.