BREAKING OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE
Its Friday so can I keep it real …really real.
Who has ever been friend zoned here?
Raises my hands grudgingly and looks away in shame, listen we have all been there, before I go on “what is a friend zone?” you may ask.
Well in simple terms it’s when you are crushing on someone and want something serious with the person but you are relegated to being “just friends”.
From the point of view of someone who has been Friend Zoned and who has placed a lot of people in the Friend Zone, either way it’s a very uncomfortable Dynamics in a relationship.
I’ve always preferred people who were much older than me, maybe it’s the fact that my mental capacity was a zillion years older than I was at that age, but way back in my early twenties (or younger but let’s stick to early twenties my family reads this blog) that was my preference, I was not interested in dating my peers who in my opinion at that time could not hold my interest, I preferred much older and more accomplished individuals, there lies the problem.
Thinking back I can imagine what it seemed like. here I was this overzealous young kid , twenty one looking seventeen female, chasing after overly ambitious men who were dating equally intelligent, beautiful young ladies whose last names had streets named after them, I was pretty enough to be associated with, intelligent enough to have conversations with, not dumb enough to be confused into their beds but not accomplished enough to earn the girlfriend title (hey this trip down memory lane is getting me upset) so alas I was friend zoned a lot.
Let me tell you it is a sick, twisted unending pain in your belly when a guy you really like is asking you for opinions on what to buy for his girlfriend on Valentine's day, or how you will always be appreciated as one of the guys, you plaster a fake smile on your lips but you just want to curl up like a ball and disappear. It’s like having the wind sucked out of you from a ruthless physical blow to your tummy.
Whilst we are on the topic let’s all take a moment to show some empathy with all the people we have placed in the Friend Zone over the years, don’t blame us we were busy chasing after happily ever afters that we failed to appreciate you , it’s just how the world works it’s not always fair to all.
So now that with this TMI of my life, we all should understand what a Friend Zone is.
The pertinent question is how do we get out of it?
1 1) Accept defeat :
Everyone knows you win some and you lose some battles, some people will never see you as more than just a platonic figure in your lives. Stalking them all over social media and writing poetry to them on your Laptop will never change their feelings towards you. You should accept your position as the “good friend” and campaign for being godmother or godfather to their kids, you’ve already lost.
Sometimes the recipient of the attention knows how you feel about them but they are comfortable with taking advantage of your feelings and getting favors out of you without taking your feelings into consideration, they literally are just using you. Look yourself in the mirror, re affirm that you are no one’s fool and walk away. Two things may happen the recipient may miss you enough to decide that they want to take it a step further with you or they may decide good riddance.
3 3)Have the conversation:
Stop expecting everyone to be a mind reader, sometimes the recipient might truly have no idea of how you truly feel about them. How are they supposed to know that you showing up every day to drive them to work is not out of the goodness of your heart, but because you actually are crazy about them .After all some people are actually that nice. So stop shying away from the truth and let them know how you truly feel. The worst that could happen is that they may not reciprocate your feelings and you may lose that friendship but hey at least you will stop crying yourself to sleep every night.
4 4)Change your strategy:
You know that phrase “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” sometimes it really works…no joke. Stop being their lap dog.
Some women will never take you seriously if you don’t man up and put them in their place for instance stop helping them out with their assignments in school you are not their “School Mugu” and for the ladies, stop preparing food and ferrying it in a food flask to their houses only for it to be shared with “the girlfriend of the day”. Change your strategy and stop the pampering to get them to reciprocate your affection. The heart wants what it wants maybe if you maintain a respectful distance and they stop leeching of you they will appreciate you for who you are.
55)Play the Jealous Card:
Ok wait this is an extremely petty and childish card but desperate needs calls for desperate actions. What if you transferred your attentions elsewhere, what if you took yourself in all your "overly nice glory" and started showing affection elsewhere. Let me tell you human beings are possessive, romantic feelings or not nobody wants to share their close buddy with someone else especially when they begin to miss those benefits. They might become jealous and realize that you may truly be a catch that they have always under estimated or they may be happy they are free of you.
The Gospel truth is that there are no legit rules to relationships, sometimes what you truly feel for someone may be nothing more than a fleeting crush that will die out as quickly as it started out.
This article is supposed to be comically entertaining but the root message I want to pass across is that you should not put yourself in a situation where you feel cheated, neglected and underappreciated. No matter how strong your feelings appear to be for someone nobody ever died from a broken heart.
First hand I can tell you it’s very difficult to walk away from a situation where you have strong feelings for someone but you deserve to be in a relationship where the Love and Respect is mutual.
So have you been Friend Zoned before? How did it make you feel and how did you get away from it…
.Tidbit “Sometimes you never do, some best friends have started off from crushes”
As for Dakky I don’t have any godkids , that should tell you how I get out of mine Ciao…….